H. Elizabeth (whit_merule) wrote,
H. Elizabeth

AHBL transcript and mp3 (2/6) - Rob Benedict

Audio file (mp3, 21.5 MB, 45 mins).

Note: This was not officially a panel, as technically Rob wasn’t a guest but the MC. So he was the one detailed to entertain us while they sent people out row by row for photos. Mostly this took the form of him playing songs, and an episode commentary on “The Monster at the End of the Book”. (Later on, during the autograph section, he wasn’t there because he was signing things and they put on “The Real Ghostbusters” - and seeing Chuck conduct a con and discuss the Supernatural books was quite the mindtwist after seeing Rob conduct a con and discuss the Supernatural show!)

This section is very difficult because there’s a lot of people moving around and for a lot of the time Rob doesn’t have a mike. I’ve paraphrased here and there in square brackets, and snipped some sections where nothing was happening. I advise against listening to this with headphones because the singing is very quiet and is followed by painfully loud cheering. Also, sorry, I went out to do something and missed (apparently) Rob singing “She Waits” and some of the episode commentary. But here, have someone else’s video of the former:

Rob singing “She Waits”.

[On screen:

DEAN:  “... He was starting to have doubts about Chuck, about whether he was telling the whole truth.”

SAM: Stop it.

DEAN: “‘Stop it,’ Sam said.” Guess what you do next.]

Sam scowls and does a little pouty wriggling motion with his shoulders, which Rob apparently thinks is hot.

Rob: That’s - I gotta get that - what’s that move? I’d get more hot-guy points if I could master that.

Fan: In the latest season they’ve actually started referencing the Chuck books. [They’ve said things suggesting?] that seasons four and five got produced and published and whatnot - do you think that could help -

Rob: I think it’s gotta help, right? It means that - they didn’t write themselves! That’s what I think - that Chuck is, at some point - you know, even the fact that he’s referenced at some point, that’s a good sign that something’s going on.

Fan says something indecipherable.

Rob: Yeah, I know, that’s what I hear! I don’t know! We’ll see! But yeah, that’s what it feels like, certainly. I’ll let you know when I get the phone call!

[DEAN: “Sam turned his back on Dean, his face brooding and pensive.” I mean, I don't know how he's doing it, but this guy is doing it.]

Rob: But him with the short hair - cos now, he’s just got, like, full locks. Of... Jared hair.

[DEAN: I can’t see your face, but those are definitely your “brooding and pensive” shoulders. ... You just thought I was a dick.

SAM: The guy’s good.

Switch to Chuck having his next vision in a nightmare, waking up panicked.]

Rob: It’s not easy being Chuck! Not easy being Chuck, and I just - I only - look, I look pasty and unwashed. More than I remembered. I really look like I haven’t bathed in a while. You know, the other thing about Chuck that’s funny is I always thought he’s a really funny character, but when people meet me in person they’re always like, “Oh, you smile!” Even if you see the pictures here of me, in every picture I’m like - (worried frown) - Frowning! Someone said yesterday “Which picture should I pick?” and I said “pick the one where I’m at least halfway smiling!” and the smiling picture of me is this - (worried smile) - so just know that I am a happy person. Nervous and neurotic, yes! But happy. Okay, should I play a song now?


Rob (unmiked): Okay, so we really don’t have the capability to mike my guitar, so we’re going to do it old-school, like the Greeks did.


Rob: ... don’t know what I’m going to play, but, uh -

Audience shouting: “Hallelujah”! Please?

Rob: “Hallelujah”? I need my guys for that!

Section snipped, because it’s just everybody moving around and Rob getting set up.

Rob: Can you hear me? Okay, this is called “Medicated”, and I wrote it about a guy who falls in love with this girl he’s sitting next to on the bus, and she doesn’t love him back the same way.

Robbie sings “Medicated”. Video here (not mine!).

Rob: Okay, so that’s called “Medicated”... Now I could do... “Eskimo”?

Con person Robin interrupts to send out more people for photos.

Section snipped again, just more movement.

Fan asks something inaudible about what his acting and singing mean to me and which is his real job, or something to that effect.

Rob: You know what? Acting was always, like, [?] wanted to be (he gets a microphone back! Hoorah! Suddenly we can hear him!) a professional actor - that was my dream, the craft that I wanted to - but music was like my release, my passion, you know? and that’s what it still is. Used to call it my extra-curricular activity, but now it’s become more of a second job - but not work.

Fan: (asks whether the rest of his family are musical)

Rob: No! No, I was the freak. My brother’s a basketball player, six-four - seriously, they were like, what’s up with the little guy? But my family loves music and growing up we’d listen to albums all the time, at an early age. My dad was actually a DJ when I was a kid, and so music was a part of our family for sure. My family also liked - my parents worked at a community theatre - but they didn’t act, they were more behind the scenes, kind of thing, but that’s definitely what sparked it in me. And yes, I do have CDs, someone just asked...

Sadly, he puts down the microphone. Fortunately, this means he’s going to play Eskimo now.

Rob sings “Eskimo”, stopping here and there to get us to do the back-up singing parts, pausing as necessary to coach us in it.

Rob: Thank you, guys! Thanks for listening! That was fun! Thank you so much! you guys rocked it! Look out to the back-up singers in the band! There’s a new band in town... wouldn’t that be awesome if I was like, “So, guys, I got some new band members,” then [introduce?] all you guys, like “Hey!” The Polyphonic Spree or something, if that means anything to you. Me and my Magnetic Zeros. (Robin comes back in to usher out the next lot for photos.) Robin! Please. With your hot pants. Robin’s wearing hot pants today. Really came for action, Robin. (They are tight and black with tetris all over them.)

Robin sends some more people out for other photos. In fact, that is most people. Snip some more for lots of movement.

Rob: Oh my god, that was a lot! You know what? You guys are missing out - I’m gonna do a strip tease. I’m so easy that I’ll do it again for you too. I’m a very easy guest. Thanks, I love you too. (chuckling a bit bashfully) You can have your way with me. I know. I’m like Sebastian, just more bashful about it. He humps the desk, I’m like, “should I hump the desk? Okay!” So I humped the desk! Okay, back to “The Monster at the End of This Book, the first episode I did on the show Supernatural.

[SAM: So... You wrote another chapter?

CHUCK: This was all so much easier before you were real.

DEAN: We can take it; just spit it out.

CHUCK: You especially are not gonna like this.

DEAN: I didn’t like Hell.]

Rob: I really look like I need to wash my face.

[CHUCK: It’s Lilith. She’s coming for Sam.

DEAN: Coming to kill him?

SAM: When?

CHUCK: Tonight.

DEAN: She’s just gonna show up? Here?

CHUCK: Uh... let’s see. “Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his desire, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery demonic passion.”]

Rob snickers.

[SAM: You’re kidding me, right?

DEAN: You think this is funny?

SAM: You don’t? I mean, come on. “Fiery demonic passion”?

CHUCK: It’s just a first draft.

DEAN: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Lilith is a little girl.

CHUCK: No, uh, this time she’s a comely dental hygienist from Bloomington, Indiana.

DEAN: Great. Perfect. So what happens after the... “fiery demonic” whatever?

CHUCK: I don’t know, it hasn’t come to me yet.

SAM: Dean, look, there’s nothing to worry about. Lilith and me? In bed?

DEAN: How does this whole psychic thing of yours work?

CHUCK: You mean my process?

DEAN: Yes, your “process.”

CHUCK: Well, it usually starts with a headache. A really bad headache. Aspirin is useless, so... I drink. Until I fall asleep. The first time it happened, I thought it was just a crazy dream.

DEAN: The first time you dreamt about us?

CHUCK: It flowed. It just, it kept flowing. It still does. I - I can’t stop it, really.

SAM: You can’t seriously believe –

DEAN: Humour me. Look, why don’t we, we just... take a look at these and see what’s what. You –

CHUCK: ... knew you were gonna ask for that. Yeah.]

Rob: So, the thing I remember about that scene is that was when the - I think - I don’t know if you saw that earlier, but that I had glasses? The prop guys said ‘do you want glasses?’ So it’s like - they ask you these questions then you’ve gotta stick to it, then this guy wears glasses when he has to read. So I was like ‘yeah, definitely glasses!’ because to me, I love accessories, you know? If I’m playing a guy who works in an office, I want paperwork, and I want a clock, and calculators, even though I’m not even an accountant. Keyboards. I wanted a pen and a pencil and glasses - then you’re stuck to it, so then you have to think “oh no!” So I don’t have them all the time, it’s just when I read. And that whole scene, it’s... it’s a little dance with those glasses on and off. And then when you’re shooting with the glasses, as you all know from the pictures just now, you’ve gotta tilt your head down so they can see your eyes, and it’s a whole thing. But I was glad I had glasses. Yes, ma’am!

Fan asks a question which is completely inaudible under the chattering and I didn’t even hear it at the time, but something about Chuck being Kripke.

Rob: It’s a great question - does Kripke get headaches and drink himself to sleep, and is that how he gets the ideas? I mean, it’s a Kripke question, I certainly don’t want to throw him under the bus, but (whispers) probably! You know, I really don’t know - and also, does he phone hookers when it’s the end of the world? Who knows where that came from. But I definitely think it’s his comment on the tortured writer - you know, that is the quintessential tortured writer who, you know, has writer’s block and he has to drink, holed up in his house in a robe all the time, unwashed, not fit for people - (to someone who has to cross the stage to get to their seat) hi - so, you know, I think that’s his commentary on that, the tortured artist kind of thing. (as Chuck) “Writing is hard!” That’s the t-shirt.

[SAM: “The minivan accident wasn’t that bad, but Dean was still seeing stars. He scratched absently at the pink flower Band-Aids on his face.”


SAM: So, I’ve seen you gushing blood. You’d use duct tape and bar rags before you’d put on a pink flower Band-Aid.]

Rob: They’re not really driving there, that’s on a trailer, right, that’s - you can kind of tell it’s on a trailer bed, on the back of a trailer bed. It’s always hard to shoot driving scenes, it’s the hardest thing. The worst is when - this has nothing to do with me now, I’m just talking to you, but - the worst is when you can spot - I think there’s never a good driving scene, like, that’s pretty good, they’re acting it great, but you can tell that the car isn’t quite bumping how it should. But when people really are on a green screen, when they’re not even in a real car that’s actually moving, and the whole time the actor’s like (turns his head, pretending to talk to someone next to him) “Yeah, well, you know - yeah, but!” and you’re like THE ROAD - THE CARS COMING - okay.

[SAM: ... totally implausible, it’s nuts.

DEAN: He’s been right about everything so far. You think he’s just gonna ground out at first now?

SAM: Huh. “Dean slid behind the wheel of his beloved Impala and drove off, the plastic tarp on the rear window flapping like the wings of a crow.”

DEAN: A tarp?

SAM: Yeah. On the rear window. And you drive it like that.

DEAN: Well, he might be wrong about the details, but doesn't mean he's wrong about the end result.

SAM: So we’re just gonna run?

DEAN: Dude, we are a long way from ready for a face-to-face death match with Lilith.]

Rob: See, he’s good, Jensen’s good, he did the turn... that was really good. (as it shifts to an outside view of Dean pulling over to speak with the deputy at the roadblock:) Now they’re driving.

[DEAN: What seems to be the problem?

DEPUTY: Bridge is out ahead.

DEAN: We’re just trying to get out of town.

DEPUTY: Yeah, afraid not.

DEAN: Is there a detour?


DEAN: There’s not a side road that takes us to the highway?

DEPUTY: To get to the highway, you have to cross that river. To cross the river, you have to take that bridge.

DEAN: How deep’s the river?

DEPUTY: Sorry. Afraid you boys are gonna have to spend the night in town.]

Rob: UH-OH. It’s always funny talking about scenes I wasn’t in because I can tell you, like, “oh, I remember this well! I was in my trailer, and trying to get reception on the TV...”. You can never watch - my trailer never has the TV - most guest star trailers they have a TV and it mocks you, it laughs at you, becasue you can’t actually get anything on the TV, there’s no satellite or anything. Meanwhile, old number one and number two on the call sheet, they get big screen TVs that get satellite and everything, right? Jensen was always cool enough to be like (deep voice) “Yeah, if you wanna go in my trailer,” only the first time that he did that - like, “Yeah, man, go ahead, go in my trailer, you can go and watch a game in there, whatever,” “Really? Should I just -” (deep voice) “Yeah, just go on in, go on in!” and him and, you know, the cronies are all like (snickers) and him and Clif, you know, (snickers) and then I like fucking go on in and I open it up and (barking madly). They’re like (laughing). Yeah, no, real funny, I just pissed myself. So yeah, that was the first time. But then after that he let me go into his trailer and watch his TV. Which is probably where I was when they were shooting this scene! Which I am not in.

[DEAN: I mean, if this is what puts us on the path to Lilith, then all we got to do is get off the path.

SAM:  How do you mean?

DEAN:  It’s a blueprint of what not to do. I mean, if the pages say that we go left –

SAM: Then we go right.

DEAN:  Exactly. We get off-book. We never make it to the end. It’s opposite day. It says that we, uh, we get into a fight. So, no fighting. No research for you...

SAM: No bacon cheeseburger for you.

DEAN: Yeah, no problem. I’ll just order something else. Hi, uh, what’s good?

WAITRESS: Well, if you like burgers, Oprah’s girlfriend said we have the best bacon cheeseburgers in the country.

DEAN: Really?

SAM: I’ll just have the cobb salad, please.

DEAN: I’ll have the... veggie tofu burger. Thanks.

SAM: This whole thing’s ridiculous.

DEAN: Lilith is ridiculous?

SAM: The idea of me hooking up with her is.

DEAN:  Right. ‘Cause something like that could never happen.]

Rob: Who’s Lilith - who was Lilith before Katherine played her in this episode?

Audience shouts out that she was a little girl.

Rob: A little girl! Ooh, that’s why it’s so impossible! Got it!

[SAM: Dean, for the first time, we have warning that Lilith is close.


SAM:  So... we’ve got the jump on her. If we know when she’s coming, we know where she’s – this is an opportunity.

DEAN: Are you –]

Rob makes some comment about the CW logo on their obviously pirated-from-TV copy of the episode - currently, it’s showing ‘90210’ as up next.

[DEAN: It frustrates me when you say such reckless things.

SAM: Well, it frustrates me when you’d rather hide than fight.

WAITRESS: Cobb salad for you. And the tofu veggie burger for you.

DEAN: Thank you. It’s not hiding. It’s being smart. It’s picking your battles. This is a battle that we are not ready to fight. Oh, my god. This is delicious. Tofu is amazing!

WAITRESS: I am so sorry. I gave you the bacon cheeseburger by mistake.]

Rob: Hah, now who’s laughing? Um. The - and they fought, they really fought, they said they were going to fight and they fought. So the other thing this made me think of was - 90210, Tuesday, whenever this was in the past - and the very first job I had was on the original 90210, the very first job I had, and I was in one scene, and my dialogue was completely cut, and they didn’t tell me that, so I had all my friends over to watch me in my major network debut, and all you could see was the back of my head. But I’m still credited! But yeah, you never heard me talk. But note to self, go and take it off the resume when they’ve remade it again! You know what I mean, when they’ve remade 90210, again, I think it’s time to take the original 90210 off the resume. Makes me look eighty. So, yeah, back to the show. Sorry.

[SAM: Dude, this place charges by the hour.

DEAN: Yeah, well, the book says Lilith finds you at the Red Motel. Hence, the uh, hooker inn. It’s opposite day, remember?

SAM: What are you doing?

DEAN: Couple of hex bags ought to Lilith-proof the room.

SAM: So, what? I’m supposed to just hole up here all night?

DEAN: That’s exactly what you’re gonna do, okay? And no research. I don’t care what you do – use the Magic Fingers or watch Casa Erotica on Pay-Per-View.

SAM: Oh, dude, come on.

DEAN: Just call it a little insurance.

SAM: What are you gonna do?

DEAN: Well, the pages say that I spend all day riding around in the Impala. So I’m gonna go park her. Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn.]

Rob (chuckles): That’s good stuff. So this is when Sam had a bit of the demon blood thing starting to happen that he was dealing with? I remember not knowing what that was, and having to ask, because Chuck was supposed to know. And I think there’s a scene coming up where I come and I kind of have this scene with him, and I really liked that scene, because in the script it says that it’s supposed to be really father-son in that moment. And I was like - it was the first time I’d played Chuck, so I was like, “Wow, this guys is a father? That’s really effed up!” But I liked it, I liked being able to play that with these guys - you know, feeling that these guys were my boys.

[As Dean drives away from the motel, we pan up to the neon sign out front. The word “Toreador” sputters and several of the lights burn out. The remaining letters spell: RED.]

Rob: What’s that mean? Oh, does it say ‘Red Motel’ in the book - in the story that - okay.

[DEAN:  Hey!

CHUCK: You wanted to see me?

SAM: Yeah. Thanks for coming.

CHUCK: Ah, sure.

SAM: Um... I was just wondering how much you know. About me.

CHUCK: What do you mean?

SAM: Have you seen visions of me when I’m not with Dean?

CHUCK: Oh... You want to know if I know about the demon blood.

SAM: You didn’t tell Dean.

CHUCK: I didn’t even write it into the books. I was afraid it would make you look unsympathetic.

SAM: Unsympathetic?

CHUCK: Yeah, come on, Sam. I mean, sucking blood? You got to know that’s wrong.

SAM: It scares the hell out of me. I mean, I feel it inside of me. I... I wish to god I could stop.

CHUCK: But you keep going back.

SAM: What choice have I got? If it helps me kill Lilith and stop the apocalypse –

CHUCK: I thought that was Dean’s job. That’s what the angels say, right?

SAM: Dean’s not... he’s not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help.

CHUCK: So you got to carry the weight?

SAM: Well, he’s looked out for me my whole life. I can’t return the favor?

CHUCK: Yeah, sure you can. I mean, if that’s what this is.

SAM: What else would it be?

CHUCK: I don’t know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control?

SAM: No. That’s not true.

CHUCK: I’m sorry, Sam. I know it’s a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders.

SAM: Does it? All rest on my shoulders?

CHUCK: That seems to be where the story’s headed.

SAM: Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight?

CHUCK: I don’t know. I haven’t seen that far yet.]

Rob: I like that scene - there is something too like he actually cares, he’s starting to care about these guys like that, but I really still wish I could just sponge my face! So dirty! Yeah, it was fun too, getting to know these guys through the course of this, it was - you know, a lot of times you’re playing a guest star that turns into a recurring role, and the first episode you’re in is actually the smallest, and they’re like “oh yeah, let’s bring soldier number two back,” and then they name you Jim, then they’re like, “let’s bring Jim back again,” and then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. But this was kind of the opposite, my first one was a really good - you know, there was a juicy chunk of stuff in there, so I got to know these guys and the crew and everything. You know, if I did ever go back to the show that’s the one thing I love about it, is like, it’s such a great crew, such a good group of people. But you know, that’s why these conventions are great, because I get to hang out with them anyway. Wander the streets of Rome, at night, drunk at four in the morning, and almost get arrested because these wise guys decided it was a good idea to jump into a fountain in the middle of Rome at four in the morning because Jensen told me to.

[WOMAN: Oh my god. Just take it easy, you’re gonna be okay.

DEAN: Stars.

WOMAN: What was that? I’m so sorry. I just didn’t see you. Are you okay?And sorry about... you know. My daughter’s going through a doctor phase.

DEAN: What are you talking about?

GIRL: You’re all better now.

DEAN: Oh, no...]

Rob: Alright! Is this where I see Misha for the first time? I think this is coming up to where I see Misha for the first time?

CHUCK: Dean.

DEAN: I take it you knew I’d be here.

CHUCK: You look terrible.

DEAN:  That’s ‘cause I just got hit by a minivan, Chuck.


DEAN: That it? Every damn thing you write about me comes true; that’s all you have to say is “oh”?

CHUCK: Please don’t yell at me.

DEAN: Why do I get feeling there’s something that you’re not telling us?

CHUCK: What wouldn’t I be telling you?

DEAN: How you know what you know, for starters!

CHUCK: I don’t know how I know, I just do!

DEAN: That’s not good enough.]

Rob (as he gets slammed up against the wall onscreen by the big scary Jensen man): Scared! Real scared!

[DEAN: How the hell are you doing this?

CASTIEL: Dean, let him go!]

Rob cheers and punches the air in a YEAH YOU GOT TOLD way.

[CASTIEL: This man is to be protected.

DEAN: Why?

CASTIEL: He’s a Prophet of the Lord.]

Rob: That was awesome! (ridiculously pleased) Isn’t that a good episode? I shouldn’t be that excited that I am. I mean, I was there, and I’m super excited over what happens next. Misha was - Misha and I have the same agent, so - I don’t think we’d met before, but my agent was like, “Yeah, so Misha, look for him.” So we’re on the set chatting, and of course he’s such a great guy, and it was this day that he was my first scene that he was in, so we were chatting it up, and so - I hadn’t seen him do Castiel, I hadn’t seen him do that character yet at all - which, he just told me that season four was his first season, which I didn’t know, I - by the time I got to set I thought he’d been there for years, because he’d already created this iconic character - so, anyway, start rolling, you know, here he is in this scene, and he’s like, (deep voice) “THIS MAN IS A PROPHET OF THE LORD” and I was like... “... what the fu...?” Because Misha’s like, you know, (casual normal voice) “Hey, how are you, no, yeah it’s great, it’s good to meet you” and everything. (deep) “THIS MAN IS A PROPHET OF THE LORD” oh my god! That’s fantastic! So whenever anyone asks me these things like who my favourite character is or who I’d rather be or whatever, it’s like a no-brainer that it’s him. Heck yeah he is a prophet of the lord!

[CHUCK: You... You’re Castiel... aren’t you?

CASTIEL: It’s an honor to meet you, Chuck. I... admire your work.]

Rob fist-pumps.

[DEAN: Whoa, whoa, what? This guy, a prophet? Come on, he’s – he’s... he’s practically a Penthouse Forum writer. Did you know about this?

CHUCK: I, uh, I might have dreamt about it.

DEAN: And you didn’t tell us?!

CHUCK: It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant. I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That’s like M. Night-level douchiness.]

Rob: I always wonder if M. Night’s going to see that, and be like “... dick!”

[DEAN: This is the guy who decides our fate?

CASTIEL: He isn’t deciding anything. He’s a mouthpiece – a conduit for the inspired word.

DEAN: The word? The word of god? What, like the new new testament?

CASTIEL: One day, these books – they’ll be known as the Winchester gospel.

DEAN and CHUCK: You got to be kidding me.

CASTIEL: I am not... kidding you.

CHUCK: If you’d both please excuse me one minute...]

Rob: ... I’m going to go drink myself silly. In the script it said he “scuttled up the stairs like a rat”. Not kidding. So that’s what I was trying to play there. So when the crap goes down, Chuck drinks. Chuck must drink. That was always a funny - you know, when you’re looking at character traits, what makes a character what, it’s how they respond in certain situations, so in that situation he just must be inebriated. Which is not funny, but actually kind of funny.

[DEAN: Him? Really?]

Rob: Oh, the other thing I can tell you about that moment is when I scuttled up the stairs like a rat - so the stairs go up then it’s just a wall, because it’s a set, right? So every time the camera’s on me scuttling up the stairs like a rat, then I’d have to be like - (mimes crouching down just under the roof to keep out of the frame) - wait like this while they play the scene out. It’s really uncomfortable.

[CASTIEL: You should’ve seen Luke.

DEAN: Why’d he get tapped?

CASTIEL: I don’t know how prophets are chosen. The order comes from high up on the celestial chain of command.

DEAN: How high?


DEAN: Well, whatever. How do we get around this?

CASTIEL: Around what?

DEAN: The Sam-Lilith love connection. How do we stop it from happening?

CASTIEL: What the prophet has written can’t be unwritten. As he has seen it, so it shall come to pass.]

Rob: I keep forgetting that I’m actually watching this with you guys and I’m supposed to be talking. I’m like “oh, right... shit.” So, Katherine I think is about to enter, who played Lilith in this episode, and I think she’s done some conventions, but I thought she was just lovely. Really lovely person, and really pretty. But she’d just gotten married... (audience makes ‘aww!’ noises) ... which is good! That’s a good thing! Because she’s married, and I’m married, so we bonded over both of us being safe. We’re safe, we’re all good. That’s the good thing about being married, you can be like, you’re not a creep show. I guess there are creepy dudes who are married, but come on, look at me. I’m the opposite of creep. I’m just more of a plaything. Watch how Sebastian manhandles me. Anyway, back to the show?

[DEAN:  Come on. We’re getting out of here.

SAM: What? Where?

DEAN: Anywhere, okay? Out of this motel, out of this town. I don’t care if we got to swim, we are getting out. Dude, where are all the hex bags?

SAM: I burned them.

DEAN: You what?

SAM: Look, if Lilith is coming, which is a big “if” –

DEAN: No, no, no. It’s more than an “if.” Chuck is not a psychic. He’s a prophet.

SAM: What?

DEAN: Cas showed up, and apparently Chuck is writing the gospel of us.

SAM: Okay.

DEAN: Okay. Let’s get the hell out of here.

SAM: No.

DEAN: Lilith is gonna slaughter you.

SAM: Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.

DEAN: So what? You think you can take her?

SAM: Only one way to find out, Dean, and I say bring her on.

DEAN: SAM: ...

SAM: You think I’ll do it, don’t you? You think I’ll go dark side.

DEAN: Yes! Okay? Yes. The way you’ve been acting lately? The things you’ve been doing?]

Rob: I hate it when they fight. Makes me uncomfortable.

[DEAN: Oh, I know. How you ripped Alastair apart like it was nothing, like you were swatting a fly. Cas told me, okay?

SAM: What else did he tell you?

DEAN: Nothing I don’t already know. That you’ve been using your psychic crap, and you’ve been getting stronger. We just don’t know why, and we don’t know how.

SAM: It’s not what you think.

DEAN: Then what is it, Sam? ‘Cause I’m at a total loss.]

Rob: Stop it!

[DEAN: Are you coming or not?

SAM: No.

DEAN: Well, I feel stupid doing this. But... I am fresh out of options. So please. I need some help. I’m praying, okay? Come on. Please.

CASTIEL (appearing out of nowhere): Prayer is a sign of faith.]

Rob: BOOM! Superhero! You know what’s good about television too is the sound design, you can hear all the cars going by? That’s all added later. And the inside of the hotel room is a set, that was on the set on their stages. This part I don’t know where they shot, this might be the outside of a motel room somewhere. But that room was a set, so even inside you can hear that (whoosing noise) - it really creates the whole world that they’re near a highway - not at all! Interesting. Yes.

Robin turns up to send more people out for photos, and tries to send Rob out for his photos too.

Robin: ... which means, Mr Benedict, you’re needed upstairs!

Rob: Wait! Okay, wait, go to the - “I am the prophet Chuck!” We gotta finish this up people! Yes, forward. (as the person managing the computer fast forwards) Forward, there, forward, forward, close, close, close, there! Play! have I come on yet? Oh yeah, this is not it! Wait, wait, have I done it already? Okay, go back! Alright! Play!

[LILITH: A lot more. Don’t worry...]

Rob: I’ll be there in a second! Don’t take it without me!

[LILITH: The dental hygienist in here? She wants it bad.]

Rob (as Lilith’s eyes turn white): Whoa, Lilith! Wait, what? That’s hard to do! Not every actress can do that!

[Sam tries to stab Lilith, Dean and Chuck burst in.

CHUCK: I am the prophet Chuck!]

Audience bursts into cheers.

Rob: That’s it in a nutshell! I’m gonna see you guys soon, but thanks! This has been really cool, right? This is fun! I love you, I’ll see you soon.

Tags: ahbl4, ahbl4 transcripts, rob benedict
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